New Quora Questions Answered

Photo by Ben Goff (1963).
Featuring Kevan Maureen and Heather Marie Goff, identical (mirror) twins.

www.quora.com/Do-twins-forget-which-twin-they-are/answer/Kevan-Goff-Parker

Profile photo for Kevan Goff-Parker
Bachelor’s degree Journalism & Professional Writing & Communications, The University of Oklahoma (1988)

Answer: Since twins are each individuals, it would be extremely strange for a twin to forget who they are.

Each identical twin has been created by one human egg that has been split in two, creating separate individuals with their own minds and identities.

My own identical mirror twin sister, Heather, was very different from me in many ways.

Yes, we looked very much the same, but each twin has a unique personality. Each has their own likes and dislikes, friends, loves and companions.

Just like you are a unique individual, so are twins.

In fact, my twin sister and I liked different things and pursued our own interests, boyfriends and career paths.

Her passion was theater. Mine is writing. My IQ assessment was 20 points higher as a teen, but she was just as smart in different areas and she actually matured as a young woman much faster than me. She weighed a little more and I was a little taller.

Heather was more certainly more conservative than me and preferred a different type of guy to date. I was more liberal-minded and valued diversity and different strengths in people. Yes, we argued sometimes, but the love and devotion to one another was always there.

Yes, some twins decide to stay together in their careers and lives, but more often, they separate as they reach maturity.

Twins often remain close because they usually truly love each other deeply, but sometimes their personalities can clash and many don’t like competing for attention.

Like most people, each twin wants to be recognized as an individual and strives to be unique in other ways than just looks.

There’s a lot of pressure when twins are compared to one another because we are simply different people.

Sadly, I lost my twin sister at nearly 18 after her car was hit by a drunk driver. I deeply miss Heather. She was a spectacular young woman full of promise, hopes and dreams.

I so wish we’d gotten to share our lives together for the past 40 years. Losing her shattered my heart, but having known that pure love than twins often share, it gave me strength to live for both of us.

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Can paranoia or delusion arise with a minimally justifiable basis, or must it always be unfounded? And if not, what would this first case be called?

Delusions and paranoia can manifest with anyone and at any time with both a minimally justifiable basis and/or be unfounded and/or unknowable how it/they developed.

If there is a minimally justified basis that the developing paranoia can be traced to, then it is much easier for others to at least trace the unusual behavior to some type of source. Medication and therapy can help.

Delusions can be much more dangerous, especially something called a “fixed” delusion. These are rare conditions where the delusion comes on suddenly. This happened to someone close to me. He was a beautiful, creative and intelligent man, but after suffering a temporary spinal cord injury, he developed a fixed delusion about a week later, leaving him believing that he’d been attacked and poisoned.

His mind told him the attackers said he’d die a slow and painful death as a vegetable. He also had terrible pain. After numerous tests, useless doctors’ and hospital visits and reports to authorities about his attack (he so believed it, he went to the police, etc.), he seemed to be getting better after a hospitalization where he was diagnosed with the fixed delusion and on medication.

But this was during the height of the first Covid-19 Pandemic and few doctors or their staff were at 100 percent. The psychiatrist and staff failed this young man on his medications and care. This wonderful man took his life just four months after his symptoms appeared because he didn’t want to burden his family with is end-of-life care and wanted to die (in his mind) with dignity.

This incredible man died for nothing. His mind betrayed him. I am forever heart-broken by his loss.

I hope more people will learn about fixed delusions and how extremely dangerous they are. More physicians need to learn about the condition and more resources need to be spent educating the public.

I know this went beyond your question, but the mysteries of the human mind need further exploration. Thanks for giving me a chance to share this story.

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What does it mean when a youth thinks he or she must have been adopted?

Sometimes, you are right. I recently discovered that my beloved Dad (who passed in 2019) adopted me and my twin sister after we were born — my mother and adopted Dad were separated when we were conceived. He never let on that he wasn’t our father and I love and am grateful to him to this day.

Still, a lot of things were off. No one ever talked about our mother after she died several years later and there were other clues.

If you are really bothered by it, do a 23&Me test. It took over a year after my adopted father passed to get a positive hit, but I’m friends today with my birth father and new relatives.

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How can I heal from my childhood trauma?

First, none of what happened to you is your fault.

No matter what shame or anger you must feel, please understand, there are a lot of mentally ill people out there who shouldn’t be allowed near children.

Loss, illness and abuse happen to good people sometimes, and all people will suffer at times in their lives.

Making the decision that an unexamined life isn’t worth living is a good first step toward healing.

Finding a good counselor or therapist is key to helping you understand the trauma, deal with your pain and anger, and move forward in a positive manner. Medication can also help.

You are worth every investment you put toward helping yourself!

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Are country singers kinder and more easy-going than vocalists in other music genres?

That is a weighed assumption that country music performers are somehow different than other types of vocalists and/or musicians. People are their behavior and just like with any other profession, there are folks who act nice and others who don’t.

Most country music stars must not only have talent, but they also know their fanbase and most work hard to keep a clean reputation. As a music writer for a major newspaper for several years, most of the country music stars I spoke with and wrote about were usually older and well-established. They were more easy-going than some of the younger hard rock, rap or other musicians and singers I often interviewed. Their manners were usually better, too.

Still, there is always an exception or two. One country music star kept his fans waiting more than an hour before performing, which was incredibly rude. He thought he was hot stuff because he was a handsome young country music star bad boy at the time. Today, he’s not young or that hot. It is amazing the arrogance of youth at times …

I also interviewed some incredibly intelligent, charming and funny artists from a lot of different musical backgrounds and all walks of life. Wonderful opportunity!

Heather Marie Goff

What’s it like having an identical twin? Do twins get along?

I was blessed to be a mirror twin with my sister, Heather, who sadly was killed after being hit by a drunk driver right before our 18th birthday. Asking if twins get along seems like it would have a simple answer, but the truth is that twins, just like any siblings, grow up a combination of nature (genes) and nurture (environment).

We got along great as children. Sure, we fought at times, but we deeply loved each other. It was wonderful to have a playmate every day and we had vivid imaginations.

I later became a writer and storyteller, probably because we made up stories and acted them out when we played, whether it was with dolls or putting on little skits for our grandmother.

I could look across a room and know what Heather was thinking because we were so close. It wasn’t ESP, it was a special type of intimacy that twins often share.

Our lives were complicated by the loss of our mother early, but we both took turns raising each other. It is because of my twin sister’s love and our bond that I knew there was goodness in the world. I knew I wasn’t alone, and I believed we could survive anything together.

Puberty can be an extremely tough time for some twins, and it was especially tough because my sister then started pulling away. We both started making our own friends, pursuing our own interests and all the things that go with being teenagers.

The summer before she passed away, we were high school graduates and about to go to college. We spent time together. I cherish those memories. She had blossomed into her own young woman and was exited to go to college.

Although I’m sure college would have been a challenge for Heather with both of us both on the same campus, but I’d already been to college early, and so I had no doubt we would have just grown closer through the years.

Sadly, I had to learn how to walk upon the earth without her. No other relationship has been close to the special bond we shared. We were so very blessed to have each other.

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